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  My life was an open book. I had finally graduated from high school two months earlier and had been accepted to the college of my dreams, which I would leave for in less then a month. It was late on monday night and I was cleaning dresser drawers, looking for items to bring with me to my dorm. As I dug through a drawer, I came across a pregnancy test. The test had come in a package of two, and I had taken the first one the week before, Which I was relieved to see it negative. My boyfriend and I had been together for over a year and had recently started having sex. I had taken the initial pregnancy test because my period had been late, and one week later it still had not shown up. I decided to take the second test just to have peace of mind. A couple minutes later, I stood barefoot on my bathroom floor, waiting for the results. I could hear my dad watching David Letterman upstairs and had no idea that the events that transpired throughout the next couple of minutes would throughly change my life. I looked down at the test and felt sheer panic rush over me as I watched a second pink line appear. I frantically looked back at the directions, hoping either I had initially misread them, or that this was one very bad nightmare. The instructions confirmed that the test was positive, and I began to feel sick, knowing it was too late to call anyone, too late to go antwhere, and most of all, too late to rid myself of this unwanted, unexpected pregnancy. The next few days were some of the hardest of my young life. Hours would pass and I would forget, only to once more remember my situation and start to feel frantic and stunned all over again. It seemed as though no option was an option, as I had not yet dealt with a situation in my life that I could not take back and had not yet had the consequences of my decisions be absolutely, sickeningly permanent. I told my boyfriend the night after I found out, and his response wasn't exactly positive. We sat on the end of his bed, brainstorming creative solutions to our problem. I think I speak for both of us when I say we were heart-broken over our fading futures, frantic at the thought of having our lives turned upside down, and more than concerned about all the things that awaited us if we chose to have this baby. I remember considering, thinking no one besides my boyfriend and myself would ever know. It seemed like the only feasible option, being so young and having so many unaccomplished goals in my life. A couple of times I looked at abortion websites on the internet to find out the costs and procedures. But on the fourth day after finding out about my pregnancy, I decided the only option I could live with was to have my baby. I think a large part of why I made the final decision that I did was due to the belief system I had grown up with , the belief that each and every person has intrinsic value and is created and treasured by God. Though I wanted to deny it, I knew this little person inside me already had all of his/her genetic material that he/she would ever have, at conception the eye color was already established brown, blue or green. It was set whether he/she would be tall or short, feisty or mild-tempered. This little person inside me, although smaller than a gummy bear was already on a continuum to becoming the three year old she is today. All of this information had been scientifically proven, and I know I could not kill my baby, one whose heart had already started to beat. I made the decision to parent my baby, and when I try, I can never capture how I feel about my blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jade. She has got my complextion and toes, and every once in a while I catch her giving a look that is an exact replica of her dad. Every morning when I wake up and realize she has crawled in my bed, hogged the covers, pushed me way over the side, and her spongy little hand is resting affectionately on my face, I am reminded just how lucky I am. Today I am twenty-three years old, and my daughter Jade is three and a half. While Jade continues to light up my life, there are problems specific to having children outside of marriage that arise. At times, Jade's father and I struggle with the complexities and hassles of trying to co-parent while not being married, or even together. Both him and I have had a serious relationship since we dated, and we have both expressed to each other the acquardness and jealousy that can easily arise when someone else comes into our daughters life in such an intimate way. It's not ideal, and sometimes it makes me sad for Jade sad that she will have another mommy, sad that she has to split her Christmases, and that the word "step-siblings" will have to enter her vocabulary. I graduated with my bachelors degree from Concordia College last May, and I have worked in two different pregnancy centers, both which I consider "my happy place." I am going on to graduate school this fall to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. Bringing Jade into this world has not happened without sacrifices, but I am proof that dreams can still be worked towards and fulfilled, even as a single mom. Among the many things I have learned throughout the last couple of years, a lesson that is very prominent in my mind is that sex has consequences. Sex outside of marriage will affect you in some way, whether it is physical, emotional, or both. At the age of eighteen, I made a decision that will affect me for the rest of my life. Because I chose to have sex outside of marriage, I was unexpectedly and immediatly responsible for the emotional, physical, and well-being of someone besides myself. That's a lot to deal with for someone who has not finished growing herself. Not to mention the risk of STD's, many of which do not have cures. And if neither of those applies, there are emotional risks to sex outside of marriage. Emotional bonds occur when sex takes place, especially for females, and the attachment to a partner is difficult to deal with when the relationship ends. I would ask anyone, of any age, having sex to consider that sex is never just sex. It is always, in any context, accompanied by feelings, attatchments, and risks. Please, please, please, consider the consequences carefully, as many of them do not allow you the luxury of turning back.